samt arrâs

Path above the head


I dunno anymore...

It might be the heat, the fact that the moon is missing tonight, that i have to take my kittens to the shelter on Saturday or that i was just talking with some friends from high school, i dunno why, but i feel like crap!
I mean not yet, but i know that if i don't fall asleep soon, I'm gonna keep thinking about all that stuff and more, and THEN I'll feel like crap!
See, the thing is that...i don't even know anymore! There is so much stuff in my head right now and most of it i shouldn't even worry about, but i do because i hate myself or something...You know when there are two sides to an issue and you are kind of in between?...that's confusing right? Now imagine 4 sides!! It's "Mind bottling!!
One side is telling me: "You did the right thing..." because that would make them look wise and less like the villain...correction...uninformed person/people.
A second side agrees with the first because, well they kinda have to or else...idk, that side has almost lost all credibility to me, but for some reason i still consider their opinions.
Then there is another side...a side i used to belong to, which tell me that i made a completely fucked up decision...that i could have been able to continue doing what i was doing, and i usually agree not because i used to be like them, but because I see the way things worked out for them based on certain factors which leads me to believe that since those same factors also applied to me, I would be in the same position that they are now. And that's what makes me feel like a total dumbass!
But wait...I said 4 sides, i know the public school system failed for most of you, but i still believe that you are able to count;)
The last side of the story is not a's my own research/investigation/resignation whatever you want to call it, which makes me side with the "You did the right thing" crowd, and stops me from going crazy trying to build a time machine to go back in time and be able to be one of "them" again and staying that way forever and ever....Enchanted style...Oh well...


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